Happy Summer, my fellow Observers! Yes... this past Sunday marked the official 1st day of Summer 2015. Along with the change of season warming things up, while we curse the local electric company for astronomical cooling charges rather than heating, summer presents certain challenges for us (besides attempting to squeeze our winter paunch into skimpy shorts) especially when children are involved. Sure, the first ten days or so of summer break are similar to an extended weekend or a holiday break, but after the luster of having your children home 24-7 wears off, (and it will) we as parents face the massive undertaking of keeping them entertained as well as fed. Today's parents have a somewhat easier time achieving that longer day, shorter night goal with current technology, but this is not the summer boredom cure all that we would hope for. Some of these kids actually want to go outside.... who knew? I know that this may be shocking to some, but outdoor activity (according to some studies) is on the rise with Generation XII. Personally, I feel that this is a positive and encouraging sign about today's youth. They have all the gadgets that their parents never had and the desire to play outside that they did. On a side note, I really can't remember if my playing outside was my desire or my mother's or grandma's. (Especially when they're game shows or soap operas came on the tube). How many of us remember hearing, "It's such a nice day... Why don't you go outside?" usually coinciding just before The Price is Right came on. You didn't mess with Grammy's Bob Barker!
With the great outdoors being brought back by popular demand, we find ourselves looking for low tech solutions to give our kids something to do out there. Trolling the toy and sporting goods departments at local stores for some summer solstice solutions. This is by no means easy pickings seeing that organizations, such as Consumer Reports, are making it harder each year on us parents by publishing negative reviews, safety warning alerts and suggesting bans on all the best toys. And not just the ones for outdoor play, but the ones we use for rainy day deliverance as well.
While looking through the news feeds this week, I stumbled upon an MSN feed that listed the Top Ten Most Dangerous Toys. This prompted me to start searching other sources using keywords like dangerous and deadly to describe the toys I was looking for. I found it very surprising that I had personally owned, played with or given as gifts almost every single toy on every single list. I define "surprise" not so much as having these kiddie killers in my possession, but rather that myself, siblings, other family members and friends are still alive today and with most of our working body parts in tact, I might add. Most of these warnings and bans by institutions such as The US Consumer Product Safety Commission, Parenting Magazine, Us News and World Report, Summer Nanny, Time, Ranker.com, etc.... etc. I take with a summer grain of beach sand. Over-protective nonsense stemming from a world that would rather stare at a cell phone screen than watch what their child is attempting to do. Some bans do have credibility though... for example, the CSI Fingerprinting Kit that contained tremolite, the most lethal form of asbestos, in it's fingerprinting dust. Aquadots, the water sticking beads that kids made jewelry with, that when ingested metabolized into GHB in the child's system. Most people know GHB as Roofies from The Hangover movie fame. Then there was the Gilbert Atomic Energy Lab from the 50's that actually contained uranium ore. Gilbert also manufactured an at home Children's Glass Blowing Kit. That's right.... glass blowing..... no need to elaborate further.
Most warnings and bans have little to no fun killing foundation at all. For example, one of these reports cited the game Twister as the most injury related board game of all time. So let's spin the dial to right foot blue and take a nostalgic trip down a sadistic summer slippery slope that leads to endless childhood injury possibilities as I count down my Top Ten Toys That Should Not Have Been Banned Or Given A Bad Reputation By The Stupidity Of Misuse.
#10. Toy Guns and or BB Guns - These are tenth on my list because I do agree that they have the potential to be dangerous. What I don't agree with is the most common reason that they are thought to be so. Popular belief is that these toys are lethal because children can and have been shot by police due to mistaken weapon identity. Although a sad truth, I believe that children shouldn't play with these toys to begin with. What other function besides playing "War" or pretending to "kill" someone do these toys serve? It's more of an Ideal issue than a danger one as far as I'm concerned. Another problem is that children "learn" at a young age that guns are toys...Baaaaad Habit! How do we teach the distinction between "real" and "toy" before they blow someone away? But if you feel it's alright to give your child such a toy.... who am I, or anyone else for that matter, to say anything?
#9. Dive Sticks - You know... the colored, weighted, numbered sticks you threw into the pool, dove in and attempted to grab as many as you could before you surfaced, remember?.... Sure you do! Other than the obvious danger of drowning, the buoyancy of the sticks created an impalement threat according to safety tests. Now, I know that it's harder to see underwater, but I think that kids can see a big red, purple, orange or yellow white tipped stick about to take their eye out just fine, Thank you.
#8. Razor Scooters - The US Consumer Product Safety Commission (yeah, these killjoys, again) claims that injuries from non-motorized scooters is the #1 cause of injury or death from a toy. I find this a little hard to believe with all the helmet happy, elbow and kneepad ninja parents out there. It's getting to the point that kids are going to have to wear helmets and full body protective gear waiting for the school bus. Basic rule of thumb folks.... Kids + Wheels = Crashes. Injuries will occur. Planet keeps spinning.
#7. Sit and Spin - Parents are warned that these mini-merry-go-rounds can reach high speeds and causes disorientation. Upon stopping and attempting to dismount, children have been known to fall to the ground. I can't speak for all parents, but my wife and I bought this toy for that specific reason.
#6. Trampolines - You get on. You jump. You bounce. You jump higher. You Do Not Jump off. You Do Not play basketball. You Do Not pass GO. You Do Not Collect $200.00. Any questions? Maybe some of the stupid stunts that "adults" on America's Funniest Videos attempt are the reason why insurance companies won't underwrite homes that have them.
#5. Sky Dancers and Remote Controlled Aircraft - Anything that flies either manually or via remote control requires a couple of things. Open space and air comes to mind. You might also want to instruct your kids on the finer art of paying attention. Remember.... location, location, location.
#4. Skip-It - During my research I discovered that a lot of the things kids put on or use with their feet can cause them to trip. Like..... shoes. Honorable mention goes to Moonshoes, roller skates and pogo sticks for helping our kids stumble over their own two gunboats.
#3. Slip-n-Slide - Extensive research has shown that using this product on a steep incline can cause the user to reach high velocities, over shoot the stopping point of the toy and is funny as hell. People who have injured themselves with this toy are most likely detailed with the phrase "You might be a redneck" within their description.
#2. Easy Bake Oven and Creepy Crawlers - Burnt fingers are the leading injury caused by these toys due to the high heat of the light bulb that makes them work. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah....The bulb in my Snoopy desk lamp got hot too. How else was I supposed to melt my army men and Silly Putty? The burns weren't as bad as explaining to my mother what that smell coming from my bedroom was.
#1. Lawn Darts - Banned from stores, recalled and made illegal to sell in 1988, Lawn Darts have been reported to be responsible for over 7000 injuries and three deaths. My family had a set of these while I was growing up. So did my wife's. In fact, my wife's family one upped mine by her father sharpening the factory point on the darts because he didn't think they stuck in the ground good enough. And you know what? Not one of our extended family members wound up injured or in the hospital after one of our picnics. Seems to me that the problem was not just a large, colored, pointed projectile flying through the air, but more operator error brought on by Budweiser. Instant impalement, just add alcohol.
The ways we entertain ourselves have changed over the years. Be it technology or toys, both come with a certain amount of risk. Any one who ever played with a Klik-Klak should know that there is no "safe zone" in life and no organization, magazine or commission will ever replace the common sense required to live our lives while keeping ourselves and our children as safe as possible. That's all we can do. Try our best... Pay attention... Monitor our children and avoid putting ourselves in situations where a toy could potentially kill us or our kids. We as a society continually point the finger of blame at others and products. I suppose it's easier to for us to find fault in the use of a toy than placing it on ourselves where it belongs. Strictly an Observation. If you'll excuse me, Toys "R" Us is having a sale.
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